I'd Like to Buy A Vow
Well, I had my first blog hiatus. But I’m back. I guess I could use the “I’ve been busy with wedding stuff. It’s just been way too crazy” excuse. Which is true, I’ve just been using it about fifteen times every day. Honestly I just haven’t felt like I’ve had anything to write about. There’s been plenty going on, but nothing anyone probably cares about. You might not even care about this, but I’m writing it anyway so strap in!
I’m already married…and have been for a week. I wrote that first paragraph the week before the wedding but never actually got around to posting it. Originally this was going to be about how hard I thought it was going to be to write vows. I knew I’d end up putting something trying to be funny or at least I would think it was funny. Then I got some good advice from my friend Zac, he told me, “Don’t…”. This was mind blowing to me. After that I sat down and started to write my vows. I wanted to be serious. This wasn’t a time for joking. I needed to express to Lauren how much I love her and will be committed to her. A few hours later and plenty of research on blogs about writing vows I had nothing.
The problem was, I wasn’t being myself. I was trying to be serious, proper, and throwing in as many Bible verses as I could. I was writing someone else’s vows. I wasn’t being myself at all. Lauren doesn’t want to hear a scripture reading about what love is. She wants to hear me. Me trying too hard to be funny. Me being sarcastic. She wants to hear me giving my vows…Weird how long it took me to get that. After that things got easy. I had all the right things I wanted to say and I was ready. Or at least I thought I was.
Before the wedding I had this weird feeling I wouldn’t cry. A lot of people had told me I would; I’ve seen plenty of pictures of grooms crying when they see their bride. And for some reason I just didn’t think this would happen. I have never been more wrong in my life. Not only did I cry when I saw Lauren for the first time that day, walking down the aisle. But when it came time to read the vows I turned into a hot mess. Luckily my mom got up from her seat to hand me a tissue, so I didn’t have to use my new pocket square. In the end, those vows that I was terrified to write, made people laugh and cry (well I did at least), and most importantly actually let my bride hear the words that came from my heart…. Great, now my mom isn’t here to hand me a tissue.