The Search For Everything (Not the John Mayer Album)
No matter how much I try to deny it. How often I tell myself, and my wife that any gear I want is solely based on my own ideas and what I like. The truth is, I follow of lot of worship leaders and guitar players on Instagram, and I just want what they have.
Contentment doesn't come naturally. Contentment is a skill. A skill I'd love to develop someday. But for now, there are far too many guitars, pedals, and amps in the world for me to focus on contentment. Don't get me wrong. I love the gear I have. It's great, but nothing will compare to what everyone else has.
My lack of contentment has manifest itself most prominently in a guitar. The Fender Jazzmaster. I have a Telecaster and a Stratocaster, but those are so last season in the worship world. Offsets are in! Scrolling through Instagram, it's an endless see of Jazzmasters, or boutique Jazzmaster style guitars. I can't get away from them. I've told myself, once I have one, that's it. That's all I need, and I can do anything! Had I ever played one? No. Until recently.
I went out to Lark Guitars in San Antonio recently while my dad was in town. I saw a Fender Professional Series Jazzmaster. It was bright blue. Sparkling in the overhead mood lighting. It was my own Wayne's World moment. Except when I picked it up and started playing...I didn't like it. I tried to like it, I really did. Is it something I said? "It's not you, it's me." I said as I slowly put it back on the wall.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little shaken up by the whole thing. Could social media really lie to me about this? Everyone loves these guitars. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. I'm learning to love what I have. My guitars treat me well. Why am I so quick to move on to the next thing? Is it really so I can have another "tool in my toolbox". "Well this guitar sounds more like 'twing twang' while this one sounds like 'ching a ling'. See?" That's an actual conversation I had with my wife, trying to justify my longing for other guitars. What am I even doing here? I need to go home to my guitars. They know me. They love me. They need me.
Wait a second...is that guy playing a Collings I-30? Great, I hate everything again.